Adjusting.

 

I have now completed week two of this grand adventure. Although in some ways it feels like I have been gone months and at other times I realize that I have just now begun to scratch the surface of massive, complicated and beautiful country. The longer I stay here the more baffled and confused I become.  When things seem to be stranger than fiction in this city all you can say is well, “It’s Jordan.” I have come to realize the interesting mixtures of stereotypical hyper-western style malls residing next to the King Hussein’s Royal Mosque and rolling hills of olive trees and multi-million dollar mansions. A city that has been concurrently occupied by people for over 3,000 years and has grown from 20,000 in 1910 to a city of over 2.6 million as of today. I find it interesting grappling with a city that is at the same time grappling with itself. I find it fascinating to be a 20 year old struggling to find my own identity in a country that is also struggling to find its own identity in light of recent crisis in Syria, Iraq, Palestine, and Egypt. What does it mean to be a Jordanian?

As many people are warned when traveling abroad that eventually the honeymoon phase with a new place comes to an end. For some it is weeks and for others it is days. It can be swift crack or a slow crumble and it has been interesting to see it happen all around me on this trip. For me it was this week, but it was not really mentally struggling with this place but my body. My body has actually begun to reject the place that I am currently living. Something that in time will pass and can be fixed by medicine and an augmented diet. I find when at home that when my body begins to shut down it is time for a change. Here there is only room for growth and change and it was physical way of reminding me to focus on what the task at hand is, can I handle living here? As my body struggles through adjusting to a different diet, I can struggle through the mental questions of how I feel living here. 

Besides the more metaphysical and physical aspects of living in this city I have done some amazing things here. Spending evenings in outdoor cafes watching the world cup. The smells of tea and mint mixing with arghilea (affectionately called Hubbly Bubbly) and cigarette smoke infused with diesel and petrol. The call to prayer ringing softly through the valleys of the city and a hush falling upon the city as evening arrives before people come out from their homes to visit with family and shop into the night. We had an amazing day climbing Mount Nebo where Moses pointed down to the hills of Jerusalem and the Jordan River valley to the Promised Land. Before riding down through the mountains of Western Jordan to the Dead Sea and lying by the sea in the heat. Combine that with cab rides each morning and afternoon through thick traffic with no rules, over hills and traffic circles with no limits. Spending long nights with out host family drinking coffee and talking about beliefs, the future, life here, and so much more. Our host mother, Dzovieg, has truly welcomed us into her heart and I could not be happier that she has become part of my experience here.

Last night we spent a beautiful evening at Café 56 overlooking the Old Belad part of the city. With lights being strung up around the city and fireworks booming in the distance for the start of Ramadan this weekend. The city is preparing for a beautiful celebration of patience and faith. The soccer game played softly in the background as we sat drinking lemon and mint juice. I think that the most profound thing about this city is not the places but the people. For as complicated of a place it is, I learn so much from our cab drivers, owners of cafes, people on the streets, and neighbors about what it means to call oneself a Jordanian.

Some of the most interesting people are the people within our program, 41 students from the United States and Britain who are all studying Arabic for wide and varied reasons. I find it fascinating to hear how all these 20 year olds have arrived in Amman at this point in their life. And I have to ask myself sometimes, how did I end up here? Is this where I could see myself being? And as my body begins to fully adjust to this lifestyle and midterms wrap up in combination with the start of Ramadan I will leave you, with these parting thoughts…

Do they not travel through the land, so that their hearts (and mind) may thus learn wisdom and their ears may thus learn? Truly it is not their eyes that are blind, but their hearts, which are within the bosoms, that grow blind.
- Al Hajj 22:46