Ramadan Musings

“The philosophy of fasting calls upon us to know ourselves, to master ourselves, and to discipline ourselves the better to free ourselves. To fast is to identify our dependencies, and free ourselves from them.” --Tariq Ramadan

"There is an unseen sweetness in the stomach’s emptiness. We are lutes. When the sound box is filled, no music can come forth. When the brain and the belly burn from fasting, every moment a new song rises out of the fire. The mists clear, and a new vitality makes you spring up the steps before you . . ." – Rumi


When I first read these quotes I was feeling rather inspired by this holy month of Ramadan. Throughout today I have felt quiet the opposite. My roommate Nathan and I have decided to fast for the holy month of Ramadan. For those of you who may not know what Ramadan entails for a full explanation I suggest taking to google but alas, here is a simple description.

Ramadan is the ninth month on the Islamic lunar calendar and marks the holy month in which Muslims around the world fast, the month typically lasts between 28-31 days and begins and ends with a crescent moon. The fast is defined from sunrise to sunset and coincides with the calls to prayer. During this time eating, drinking, smoking, slander, badmouthing, cursing, fighting and other worldly pleasures are forbidden. The Quran called for the month of fasting in the following ways:

"The month of Ramadan in which was revealed the Quran, a guidance for mankind and clear proofs for the guidance and the criterion (between right and wrong). So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadan), he must fast that month, and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number (of days which one did not fast must be made up) from other days. Allah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you. (He wants that you) must complete the same number (of days), and that you must magnify Allah for having guided you so that you may be grateful to Him" (2: 185).

The previous two times I have been in the Middle East it has been during this holy month of Ramadan and upon landing in Dar Beida (Casablanca) I realized that I was entering a country, which is majority Muslim country where 99% of the people will be observing Ramadan. I am also entering a country where Islam is the law and therefore Ramadan is enforceable in public. I have always wanted to try fasting. I have wanted to join the ranks of over 1.6 Billion people worldwide of which 93% report fasting the month of Ramadan. Ramadan is not something often discussed in the United States unless you come from certain communities where it is respected, celebrated and adhered to. In Meknes the Ramadan life is one unlike many will experience. The days are long and hot with temperatures reaching over 100 degrees, but the nights… the nights are like a dream. Imagine an entire country sleeping throughout the day, most businesses are on limited hours or closed completely during Ramadan and then the sun slowly begins to set behind the mountains. The last 10 minutes of the fast are hardest because you can feel your stomach churning and your desire for any amount of water burning deep within you. The call to prayer rings out from Mosques that gleam on the hilltops of old city of Meknes and reverberate through the streets and the surrounding mountains. You can almost feel the collective gulping of water and eating of dates.

The nights are filled with large collective meals shared from one dish, family gatherings, strong coffee, sweet tea with mint, fruits, desserts, laughter, traffic, concerts, parades, shopping, jostling, prayers, smoking, kids playing, TV specials, kissing, hugging, passion, reverence, reflection, and reconciliation. The nights are truly what define Ramadan as a time of joy and a time of serious reflection upon the past year and the coming year. Just to know that around the world over a billion people are facing the same hardships of fasting and enjoying the same joys or celebrating together. Ramadan nights have been written about in books, stories, and songs since its inception. There is a certain magic and pull to the month. Much like Rumi and Tariq Ramadan stated above it is a time to find oneself completely empty except for the very thing that makes you who you are. The essentiality of your own soul springs forth. I find that when not thinking about the overwhelming hunger and thirst that it is a good opportunity to focus on a deeper strength, to continue to press forward. There is something to be said for forcing your body to focus on other priorities by setting aside the essential needs. Our host family has been incredibly proud of us throughout our journey to fasting. Our family places a lot of value in us taking the initiative to join them in their month of fasting and celebration. Humans in all religions over thousands of years have found value in fasting, they have found the essential pieces to their own weakness and humanity in the refusing of the things our body craves. I have found beauty in fasting; I have found the hardships worth it, and most importantly the nights with their cool breezes, loud music, laughter, and fulfillment worth the hours without food or drink.

Now to step back from the philosophical for just a minute and discuss the reality of fasting, it is really hard. The logistics of eating a very large meal at 8:00 PM and then attempting to relax, sleep, go out, and do homework before another huge meal at 1:00 AM is difficult. Knowing at 1:45 AM that you will not eat or drink for another 18 hours is a daunting prospect. Waking up in the morning knowing you can’t eat or drink. Arriving at school at 9:30 AM with students who are not fasting, which means watching other people drink large, cold bottles of water and eat lunch on the rooftop terrace knowing that you will not be able to eat for several hours after school is finished. I have also found that the longer I do this the harder to find motivation. I am not Muslim, I am not even very religious overall but something inside of me burns with the need to continue. In these moments I think upon Rumi and his words that we are the Lutes of this world and that often the things we put into our bodies muddy the sound and distort what the musician in all of sees of the world. At other times I do not see it quiet as poetically, sometimes all I am thinking about is that I am exhausted and hungry and cannot function and that I would literally do anything for a large glass of water. I will admit that my roommate and I have slipped up a few times. Most people prepare their entire lives to enter a full month of fasting. We dropped into Morocco and decided to undertake this very difficult task. It has now become a personal struggle, a struggle to prove I can do it, a struggle to prove that my inner voice needs to be freed, a struggle to prove to myself I can, a struggle… a struggle.

Another important thing that I have realized about Ramadan is that there is an inherent need for humans being the social creatures we are to be part of something. We crave and need the social connection with our fellow humans and although we deny it in this new global world where all of our connections occur through a screen, there is still an inherent yearning to be part of something larger than ourselves. To be part of something that we can fall back upon, that can lift us up, and let us down gently when things collapse. I have found that most humans are seeking this acceptance. I have found that I am seeking my own acceptance in a place that I can never be fully be accepted. I will never be from here and I have come to find beauty in the differences. I think many students and world travelers like to picture themselves in the country they reside within and play out their lives like a pick your own adventure novel without realizing their first flaw is in thinking with will ever belong there. I believe we have the ability to adapt and assimilate but never fully. And yet… and yet there comes again that essential part of us which yearns to belong to something. I have found that in my travels I am seeking acceptance into places I clearly do not belong and this realization is healthy. In Morocco I have sought acceptance by fasting and so here we are, just over half way through Ramadan and my inner lute is spewing forth the essentiality that I am seeking, I am seeking acceptance into this place, this culture, and this people. Although I know it will be futile a white kid from Brighton, Michigan can continue to try. Without food or water during the day I have found the beauty in what my soul wants. I have felt the inner yearnings and have given in to them. If the essentiality of human nature is to be part of something larger I think that I have begun my journey to discovering exactly what I want to be part of in this crazy little blue dot in space.

Throughout the past week these musings have come to me in waves in between cigarette smoke, coffee, and the smell of frying dough on the streets of Hamriya. The laughter of children the softly thudding beats of music wafting out of the windows of houses nearby and as we all listen to the same Ramadan commercials over and over again. The weeks are filled with classes that stretch on throughout the day and the nights are filled with friends both old and new in cafes, and around the city. Some of the most memorable moments from this past week have included:

- Going to a carnival full of rides that spew smoke, barely operate, and shutter and shake like they are doing the twist. These are the rides your mother said to you when you were young “Do not go on or I will kill you myself”. These rides have clearly been taken from traveling carnivals in Spain and have somehow made their way down to the south and ended up in the “Palace of Follies” in Meknes. Being typical Americans we were of course yelling and having a great time and may have made more of a scene than we intended and the ride operator was concerned that something was actually wrong and rushed up to let me off.

- Enjoying wandering through the old city late at night and enjoying the scenery of the Sahrij a giant reflecting pool built for Kings horses and to supply water to the city surrounding it, but at night the pool is know for the Shebab (young men between the ages of 10-25) roaming the promenades smoking Hashish, families going for an after Iftar stroll, people going to the carnival, enjoying the street food, people watching, young couples secretly kissing in the dark and general enjoyment of the cool evening breeze.

- Short story time: Imagine a narrow street with shops on both sides deep in the marketplace of old Fez, there is only enough room for about 3 people wide to get through and all of a sudden there is a donkey running into your friend in front of you forcing them into you which forces you into the person behind you and there is literally no where anyone can go except stumble into the store next to you, knocking over the front display and then awkwardly having to explain In Arabic what happened and conveying your deepest apologies for being the tourists who cant handle the streets of Fez.

- Meeting two young boys who offer to guide you to the Mosque you are looking for in Fez, knowing that they will demand money at the end of the trip, only to have them guide you to their rooftop for a beautiful view of the old city, their family makes carpets and blankets and after showing us where they make them and truly enjoying our time with their family buying carpets and learning about their heritage as an Amazigh family in the city. It was those little boys and their family, those are the people and the experiences I wont forget about these trips.

- Standing on a rooftop overlooking the oldest continually operating University in the world which was found 896 is truly awe inspiring.

- Enjoying another 4th of July in a foreign country with a rooftop dance party in Meknes, drinks at the Hotel and finishing off the evening with a cup of espresso and a cool breeze. I have come to accept what it means to be American abroad at times like this but that I will have to save for another post. I can sense I have rambled on for far too long already. (I apologize to you the reader for the constant mentioning of cool, dry, Meknes night breezes but they are the only thing that keep me sane as I sweat in my 100 degree room furiously typing this, fanaticizing over the ideas of a cold rain and lovely gust of wind.)

I shall wrap this up on the final notes that as I have begun to feel pulled towards and giving in to my yearning to be a part of something larger and truly allowing my essential need for that feeling to come to fruition in this holy month of Ramadan. There is a lot of truth in viewing all humans as their own lute, playing their songs and striving to be heard and noticed in the cacophony that is the world today. As I look around the students in my program, my host family, the boys in the market, our teachers, the police outside the school, the workers in the marketplace, the entertainers. All of us are seeking to be part of something in this world. All of us are seeking, striving, reaching. In this holy month where so many of us around the world are trying to avoid food and water and instead focusing on the deeper layers of ourselves. Peeling away the needs and wants of this life. It will be the people in all of their raw reality that I will remember from this trip. The people all-seeking to be part of this greater thing we are calling life.

So with that I will leave you. Go forth and seek what makes you who you are. Find your place, or at least start your journey. And remember a little fasting; some prayers and a touch of Ramadan nights can bring about beautiful things in your life. Take a deep breath, exhale and continue on…

Cheers and Goodnight until next time.